ok. I am a stay at home mom, my husb works at a very well known communications store.. this is my Q he has his co-workers tel# on his cell. inc. 3 girls 2 that work with him and 1 that is from totally different area code. they all work for the same copmpany. I dont see y he has too have the girls phone numbers with him, theyre just sales reps like he is. I know that when u work with people u grow a close relationship with them especially seeing them everyday for 8 hrs. whats upset me is that his store has a Grand Opening Event on and he barely vaguely mentioned it to me yesterday, and he has not even mentioned to me if I want to stop by we live 10 min from his job. I have never been there and he has never asked me if I want to go over and pick him up so that we can have lunch.
I am feeling very insecure, am I wrong… Im afraid there is something I dont know.. and if I bring it up to him hes prolly gonna get upset cause I looked through his phonebook.
this is killing me.
what r signs..
I am too a stay at home mom. I can relate to you in a way. I would just talk to him. If you say anything about the numbers on his phone he will think you are checking up on him. Just surprise him and stop by his work….around lunch time. Get urself all fixed up and go down there and say…hi…Bring the kids I am sure they would love to see there Daddy and I bet his co-workers would too.
Remind ur-self he is married to you. He loves and promised you. Be as confident as you can about that around him. Even though it drives you crazy. I know where you are coming from completely, hold ur chin up and remember you are his wife.
I know it can be hard staying at home and taking care of the kids and having no other adult communication. This has happened to me too and that made me worry about silly things that are nothing. What helped me is get a part-time job or take some classes so you can actually, meet new people. Best of luck!!! Hold ur chin up girl!!!!
April 11th, 2010 at 12:35 pm
His family may not be invited to the grand opening, dear. It might just be for clients (like my boyfriend’s was a few days ago) or potential clients. If he’s a salesman, then he’s probably on the road sometimes and needs to have those phone numbers with him in case of an emergency.
You need to calm down. Has he given you reason to not trust him in the past? If he wasn’t a cheater in the past, then just let it go.
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April 11th, 2010 at 12:53 pm
Do you trust him? If yes… no worries. If no… then ask yourself why you don’t trust him… that will determine your next actions.
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April 11th, 2010 at 1:28 pm
Have you ever just stopped in to see him at work? Maybe go early and ask him to lunch. Sometimes the element of surprise works wonderful. Watch for his reaction when you do walk in unannounced. There could be nothing going on at all, just friends at work, but drop in and visit.
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April 11th, 2010 at 2:05 pm
while i don’t think you should have gone through his phone, if he seems distant, and non responsive, it could be stress from work, if he helped with this grand opening, or other related stress. I would approach him about his lack of interest to include you in things and see how he responds. Just tell him how you feel, if you feel neglected, tell him, and then go from there.
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April 11th, 2010 at 2:13 pm
Don’t wait for him to ask you. Go over. Pick him up for lunch.
Don’t worry about the co workers #’s, set your mind at ease. And drop by the store.
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April 11th, 2010 at 2:37 pm
How Old are you? This kind of insecurity speaks of high school rather than a marriage.
First of all… stop snooping.
Second, have you tried talking to your husband? Instead of pining and whinging?
Has he given you reason to suspect him of infidelity? If not, why are you acting this way?
I suggest you get a babysitter, get a dinner date and have a real converasation. Tell him you’re interested in what he does all day Tell him you’d love to come see his store, ask about him, and maybe he” remember to return this.
If I had to remove all the men’s phone numbers in my cell they’d be half gone. These are guys I work with, I need to be able to reach them. It’s not biggie.
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April 11th, 2010 at 3:13 pm
I think men don’t think about little things like that. I was a stay home mom too and getting out, getting invited, going places is often more fun or exciting than it is for someone else. He might just see it as a work event, a burden even and not want to make you go…I think that you might want to talk to him. Not necessarily tell him your suspicious but tell him you would love to be around more, maybe have lunch sometimes, maybe get to know some of the people he works with. And then you might want to consider your reason for not trusting him - has he given you reason to in the past?
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April 11th, 2010 at 3:44 pm
the numbers are for a working relationship only, as far as going to his place of work my wife does’nt come to my place either and i run the place. so i think you are worrying about nothing. if it bothers you that much then you have to ask him honesty plays a big part of a marriage. good luck!
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April 11th, 2010 at 3:55 pm
You need to look for more than phone numbers in his cell phone. He may need to call these women for business - maybe just to call someone to cover for him when he wants to take time off or many other reasons. Maybe the long distance number is a woman from another regional office. If you want to meet him for lunch, why don’t you ask him? Why don’t you make a special lunch for him and take it as a picnic lunch? Signs that he is more than co-workers with these women would be to see how often they call him or text him. How often does he work late? Does he answer the phone regularly when you call and is he happy to hear from you? If you happen by his store, would the co-workers know he is married - and your name? Stop by, meet these women, and that will ease your fears or tell you more.
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April 11th, 2010 at 4:39 pm
Does he bring his work home with him?
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April 11th, 2010 at 5:19 pm
If you live so close drop by sometimes. My husband makes it very known that he is married and I pick him up all the time. He has a couple of female co-workers numbers in his phone but only those of managers.
I would stop worrying and take some action. Start dropping by for lunch, meet his coworkers, etc. You’ll feel a lot more secure after you see where he is all day and who he’s with.
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April 11th, 2010 at 5:35 pm
Hi
Going through the phone is never good….
I recently split with my ex because she was taking other guys numbers saying it work related, but our job is different….
He may just like to keep work seperate from personal life and this will be true if he is loving attentive and caring towards you… if he is not then he is probably hiding something…. But the word there is PROBABLY
NEVER assume that straight away that’s trouble with modern technology and attitude your guilty till you can prove otherwise…
try talking to him
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April 11th, 2010 at 6:06 pm
Yes, you’re insecure.
Yes, he’s hiding you from his coworkers.
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April 11th, 2010 at 6:15 pm
Having coworkers phone numbers on hand is totally normal. I see no problem there. I have my male boss’s number in my cell in case something comes up and he’s not around.
Grabbing his phone to go through the numbers is wrong. You said it… you are insecure. Men aren’t mind readers.. if you want to have lunch tell him to pick you up. If you want to go to an opening… tell him you want to go. Don’t expect him to know and then suspect the worse when he doesn’t.
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April 11th, 2010 at 6:42 pm
Hello, My love I would be freaking out too !Are you folks born again christians ? Sounds like he needs the fear of God put in him ! Baby you have a hard and very noble job ! Somebody needs to straighten him out so I will pray for you both ! Let him know there is eternal consiquences for our actions.
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April 11th, 2010 at 7:24 pm
First, and at the moment, are you now having marital problems with him? if not, then stop and think. Some men keep numbers of co-workers in their phones because it’s a work ethic relationship. And as you’ve notice he is work consciencious. In my point of view, until you can prove he is being unfaithful to you, I wouldn’t bark up the tree. Whatever
you’re feeling, if true will surface sooner or later. Just be you but don’t look through his stuff you’re asking for trouble.
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opinion
April 11th, 2010 at 7:55 pm
I am too a stay at home mom. I can relate to you in a way. I would just talk to him. If you say anything about the numbers on his phone he will think you are checking up on him. Just surprise him and stop by his work….around lunch time. Get urself all fixed up and go down there and say…hi…Bring the kids I am sure they would love to see there Daddy and I bet his co-workers would too.
Remind ur-self he is married to you. He loves and promised you. Be as confident as you can about that around him. Even though it drives you crazy. I know where you are coming from completely, hold ur chin up and remember you are his wife.
I know it can be hard staying at home and taking care of the kids and having no other adult communication. This has happened to me too and that made me worry about silly things that are nothing. What helped me is get a part-time job or take some classes so you can actually, meet new people. Best of luck!!! Hold ur chin up girl!!!!
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Been there!
April 11th, 2010 at 8:06 pm
I don’t think you are wrong or right it depends on your husband if he’s one of those guys who has female friends and he was like that before you met him-there isn’t anything to worry about. I have been married for almost 7yrs. I was always one who got along better with men than woman not that I wanted anything other than friendship with any of them, but if they had a wife or girlfriend I was always friendly with them so that there wasn’t anything suspicious or not to damage their relationship. Your husband may not mention it to you because of the insecurities and may not want to cause problems between you. My advice would be to talk to him and find out what is going on the only stupid question is the one not asked.
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April 11th, 2010 at 8:12 pm
Sound like to me that he does have something to hide. Also about your husband accusing you of looking into his private things, seems like that he doesn’t trust you and he ends up using that as a weapon to defend himself of the issue itself. My opinion is to do a little investigation yourself, it doesn’t hurt to peek into his work lifestyle a little bit without him knowing. If you want to know the truth and your husband seems to keep turning it out on you then your only choice is to find the answer to your questions by going there to find out what exactly is he doing. There is where you will see the truth. If anything hire an investigator, I’m sure they can help you very well to find what you are looking for about your husband. Sometimes when our loved ones can’t seem to tell us what is going on and they defend themselves, then its best to look for it yourself. Try it, I’m sure it will work out, either way I’m sure he’s just as innocent as you think unless you see well proved evidence that he has betrayed you and your child/children. Good Luck!
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April 11th, 2010 at 8:47 pm
Obviously you and your husband have no communication whatsoever. One of the things a lasting marriage needs is COMMUNICATION and without it you may as well kiss your marriage goodbye. The person you NEED to be discussing all of this with is your HUSBAND not hanging out on an internet message board whining. TALK to your husband he is the one you’re married to.
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